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For the past several years I have had many consultations with parents who want to know how to prepare their older children for a new baby. These parents leave my office feeling more confident, knowledgeable and secure about how to help their child prepare for the "big event". Even more frequently however I have had parents call me with one of the following dilemmas: "My 3 year old hates my 6 month", "My 4 year old does everything she can to take attention away from the baby", "My 2 and a half-year old wants to be a baby again, now that I have a new baby". There are actually many more problems that I have heard over the years. These parents are a loss as to how to handle their older children, particularly when they are overwhelmed and exhausted, not only with having an infant, but also with the sudden changes in their first child's behavior. Sometimes the parents have prepared their older child for the baby, and sometimes they haven't. But without realizing it, most of the time their preparation has not been nearly thorough enough. Of course there are some children who struggle with the change no matter how well you prepare them. The parents of all these children are now at a loss as to how to handle the confused, angry and sad feelings that their children are expressing. It much more difficult to help these parents and children "fix things" than it is to give advice and counseling before the baby is born. I began to realize that I needed to get the word out that a little preparation and knowledge beforehand will spare a lot of heartache and aggravation afterwards. And for the children who are feeling confused and displaced and the parents who are coping with a new baby and a sad or angry child, support and suggestions are in order. Realizing these things gave me the idea for this website. So here it is...Havinganotherbaby.com is the result of many years of helping parents prepare their children for a new baby and helping children and their parents manage conflicted feelings that arise after the baby is born. Oh, I almost forgot, I have had many opportunities to practice my theories and techniques with my own children ages 5 1/2, 3 and 2 years old. |
